On the Mets and Home Plate Umpires

No hitting at all. Except for Ike, I guess. I’m watching the Mets play the Padres again in the first game of two they’re playing today and it doesn’t look good, once again. These Padres pitchers are really solid, I know, and the Pods do lead their division, but still. They can’t hit either. Snooze.

It’s raining here in beautiful Short Hills but not so much in Flushing Meadows apparently. Ike is at the plate as this is written, facing Gregorson, just one of those nice relievers the Pods send out day after day to befuddle the opposition. And Ike goes down swinging.

But it is what it is. The Mets are fun to watch. They get contributions from a lot of different guys. But they’ll lose their share of games, especially when Wright and Reyes and Jason Bay don’t do too much, which, today at least, is pretty much the story.

Luke Gregorson just struck out the side, Ike, Wright and Frenchie, but at least Wright struck out on a pitch that was about a foot outside. And some people think instant replay shouldn’t be allowed for balls and strikes. Not only shouldn’t there be instant replay but there shouldn’t be any need for an ump calling balls and strikes at all!

Just use the box, the one we see on our TV screens all the time. When the pitch is in the box, it’s a strike. How hard is that? Get rid of those obnoxious umpires who just want to go home anyway. There’s absolutely no need for them. Have a couple of fellows work the bases, including home, and that would be that.

They say pitching is dominating the hitters today. And it’s true. Just have those umps keep calling strikes for balls way out of the zone; just have those lazy umps call strikes on every check swing. If you want the game to come to some semblance of balance again, just get rid of that umpire calling balls and strikes.

I mean, I know it’s traditional and all, but what good are they? There would still be plenty of umpiring jobs available, in every league that couldn’t afford the technology, which basically means every league other than MLB.

There are lots of complaints too about the length of the games. I know there is some time wasted on players arguing with the umpire on called strikes, followed by the irate manager getting thrown out for questioning the ump’s eyesight (and heritage sometimes no doubt). No umpire, no argument. How can you argue with a box?

So let’s recap. Hitting would get better all over the league, games would be shorter, and everybody’d be a lot happier, except for the pitchers, of course, but they’d get over it as every pitcher would suffer equally, and ERA’s would go up one for everybody.

If the technology allowed computerizing the calls on the basepaths, I’d favor that too. That missed call at first base that erased Gallaraga’s perfect game really rankled. I don’t particularly care that the ump cried about it later on, to be perfectly honest. He had to show some contrition. It was right out there for everyone to see. It wasn’t even questionable. It was a horrible call, and one that he stuck vehemently to, before he saw the replay. And everyone saw the replay.

If I’m being harsh on umpires, I’m sorry, but no group deserves it as much as do the major league umpires. They’re arrogant, lazy, usually out of shape and very often too concerned about their impact upon the game, which is significant, I must say, unfortunately. I wouldn’t mind so much if they weren’t so horrible as a group. But they can’t seem to see what everyone else does.

Especially for balls and strikes, MLB should just use the box. It works on line calls in tennis wonderfully. I don’t see why it wouldn’t work for baseball. Anyone who has seen their favorite hitter strike out on a pitch they couldn’t have possibly reached with a fishing pole would have to agree.

Think about it. How ridiculous is it to have everyone just be happy if the umpire is consistent with his strike zone? That means, it’s fine as long as a ball 6 inches outside is called a strike all the time. The same goes for those balls at the ankles or at the shoulder. Why should we continue to put up with it? Just get rid of the whole bunch of them.

The Mets just lost. Cohen tells me the last 22 Mets in a row were retired. Geez, that’s pretty bad hitting. Johan Santana was the victim again. You have to feel for a pitcher who never gets run support. I don’t know what mysterious factor is involved, maybe just the fates or baseball gods, whatever, but some pitchers just have no luck at all.

Baseball would still be exciting without that fat guy behind the plate. There’d be a little less melodrama, of course, but I’m sure the Lou Piniellas of the world would still get thrown out from time to time. There’d be more home runs, higher batting averages, more runs scored and very likely affect negatively only those pitchers who exist solely on locating their pitches, which, to me, is just a euphemism for pitchers who consistently get strike calls on non-strikes, thus driving the batters to distraction.

Pitchers with legitimate stuff would rise to the top of the rankings. The Jamie Moyer 47-year-olds would be phased out. When a pitcher lost his fastball, he’d be in trouble more often than not. Baseball would become a young man’s game again, which is as it should be, except in the American League, of course, which would still carry its forty or so designated hitters.

If a pitch is in the box, you get a white light. If it’s outside the box, you get a red light. There’d be no need for challenges. What’re we waiting for?