Twas the Night Before.....

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the night
New York teams played football - just one was uptight
The Giants were golden, but the Jets had a care
The Dolphins would soon kick some butt in their lair.

The Giants were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Super Bowl danced in their heads
Coughlin full of mischief, a bye in his lap
The Vikings were next, but who gave a crap?

Mangini aloof, his season in tatters
He only sees red when his quarterback shatters
His game plan, his processes, all just a mash
His free agents butter, but they’d get their cash.

His team had collapsed on the new-fallen snow
Seattle had proven his receivers slow
Then what to his wondering eyes should appear
The Fish on the schedule, good reason to fear.

That his fickle old driver, once lively and quick
To capture a moment would soon make him sick
His punter not Feagles, his offense so lame
He bristled to think he’d have no one to blame.

Not Bret Favre the Dancer !
He’d sure get his licks in
As fast if not faster
Than Domenick Hixon!
From the podium porch
With his back to the wall
He’d trash away, trash away
Trash away all!

Dry heaves Eric conquered, his stomach a tie
He worked on his game plan, the old college try
His charges, he knew that they’d soon need a clue
When the Dolphins arrived, and Chad Pennington too!


Oh how, in a twinkling, as if Chad needed proof
That Tanenbaum chose to remain quite aloof
Chad managed to turn a lost franchise around
No dummy, the Tuna, he knew what he found.

Dressed orange-blue-green from his head to his foot
Field leader untarnished with ashes and soot
A team full of rookies he flung on his back
Game manager sound, he’d soon get them on track!

His eyes--how they twinkled ! His dimples, how merry !
To leave in his wake, a wideout named Cotcherry
As he went down South, he surely would know
That team managed down in Miami did not blow
In Ron Brown was someone to kick in your teeth
And Ricky, he’d circle the field like a wreath
And if that wasn't reason to turn on the telly
He'd throw to Fasano to make you look smelly!

NOT chubby or plump, a right scary young elf
Not arrogant either, played within himself
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Let all the Fish know they had nothing to dread!

Jets hopes of the finals may turn on his work
If he makes Mangini look like a jerk
Through Ronnie and Ricky his offense it flows
Sparano and Parcells, they smell like a rose!

How good would it play, if Chad lets go a missile
The TD to win, sweet as down on a thistle
And we hear Chad exclaim as he gets on his flight
“HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT ! "

A Fantasy League Night Before Christmas...

‘Twas the week before Finals, and all through the league
All done was the fighting and petty intrigue
The two teams remaining had only to care
‘bout filling in rosters and how they would fare.

TeamNYSE and BigSwim had made their own bed
Mustangs and Cowboys and Cudas saw red
And Gjets looked perfect, ‘fore taking a nap
At a critical juncture, his team took a slap.

When Sunday dawned, their brains were a scatter
Their reason was fed by robust fecal matter
More often than not, runners-up they would crash
For all of their druthers looked bad in a flash.

But two teams were blessed and their lineups would flow
And the fluster of Sundays they wouldn’t know
With most of their thundering guys on a tear
They never would stray – their choices were clear

They had no Donald Driver, their players were slick
Whoever they’d plug in would quite often click
Not McNabb’s Eagles, their coursers they came
Their rosters they flouted, had no change of name.

Now Romo! now Colston ! they ne’er needed fixin’
And Crosby, the Packer, he sure got his kicks in
To young Braylon and Gates, mighty Klondikes would call
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

He believed in his lineup, no waivers he’d fly
When he’d meet with an obstacle, just give a sigh
So up in the standings, his coursers they flew
On game day made noises that always rang true.

When ramsy was tinkerin’, he stayed aloof
Most of Scoops signings, he knew were a goof
While Fu’s and Crab’s rosters were turning around
The Northmen stayed firm, his few moves they were sound.

No fly-by-night wonder on his roster he’d put
Had to jump like a reindeer or be fleet of foot.


One team started slowly but wound up on track
The pickup of Graham soon fueled his attack
Snake Eyes ne’er wrinkled, he needed no hurry
LT over everyone soon he would scurry.

Norv Turner’s dumb game plans, soon they would go
And the rock went to LT, so everyone’d know
A lump in their windpipe, a kick in the teeth
As LaDainian circled the field like a wreath.

Brees finished the race though N’Awlins was jelly
And T.O. would triumph, T Glenn he did spell thee
Lendale chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf
Of his second round pick, he’d soon prove himself.

To think the Snake Eyes would end up in the red
Was before he placed Johnson in Santana’s stead.

Yahoo says the Klondikes will sure have to work
But Brees will find Eagles D real hard to shirk
On Raiders defenders, Fred Taylor will close
And Braylon ‘gainst Bengals could smell like a rose

And Romo will play tough ‘cause Jessica’s fickle
And she could end up scratching some other tickle
But she won’t be to blame, should good Tony lose sight
Of T.O. and Witten, say Big D GOOD NIGHT !!