How Unlucky Can You Get?

How unlucky can you get? Our lovable Mets are testing that question this season and continued their inquiry yesterday as Jeff Francoeur, on what should have been a single to center (on any other team), hit into an unassisted triple play for outs one, two and three of what was looking to be a very promising inning.

The national media concentrated on how unusual the play had been in the annals of professional baseball, how it was one of the only times in the history of baseball that a game had ended on an unassisted triple play. To me, though, they missed the boat. The real question is how unlucky one single team has been in any recorded baseball season.

And now we hear that Omar Minaya is returning. I could live with that. I mean, if this guy has been the unluckiest person in the whole wide world this season, it only stands to reason that his luck must change for the better, everything in life following the natural rhythms of the universe. A new GM might begin a whole new cycle of misfortune.

The GM likes the manager and I do too. Who’d we go to? Randolph? Valentine? No thanks.

But then I hear that the team will reduce its payroll for next year. That’s not good. While it may not be as bad as it may sound, as quite a bit of salary will be coming off the books, much of it paid out for a remarkable lack of production, it could hardly be interpreted as a good thing.

I still think Madoff’s Ponzi scheme may be seriously affecting Wilpon’s handling of this team, despite statements made to the contrary. How could it not? And maybe that piece of serious misfortune was the unkindest cut of all, coming at a most inpropitious moment in time, when opening a new expensive stadium for a team that’s setting records for snake-bitten-ness. (I know it’s not a word, no letters please). Wilpon may have killed a spider, that’s supposed to bring bad monetary luck.

Call it what you will…cursed, plagued, gremlin-infested, the evil eye, this Mets team has them all at the same time. So maybe Minaya walked under a ladder while a black cat was ambling by. Maybe he spilled salt after breaking a mirror, or, even worse, he stepped on a crack. Anyone watching baseball has seen a variety of pitcher-types jump over the baseline. Oliver Perez comes immediately to mind but he’s not the only one.

And it certainly didn’t help Perez out yesterday. Once again, he stunk out the joint, lasting about 2/3 of an inning after giving up six runs. Maybe he should try digging his spikes into the line, then stomping on it. He couldn’t possibly be any worse. His pitch selection and location stink too, any nobody will be happier than I to see the back of Brian Schneider.

I keep thinking of that trade with the Nats a couple of years ago that brought us Church and Schneider, while we sent off Lastings Milledge and Paul LoDuca. We’ve had nothing but bad luck since. Church is already out of here, thank the baseball gods, and now there’s just Schneider. That may bring more good luck than you would ordinarily think it possibly could. That original trade must have been done for specious reasons totally unfair to LoDuca. And if anybody could cast a jinx, or throw an evil eye, my guess is that LoDuca would be just the one.

Besides just letting Schneider go, maybe we could do some other things that may help, like throwing salt over our left shoulders. Seriously, the Mets need a lot of help.

As this is written, for example, the Phils are kicking our butts. It’s just 5-2 now in the 4th, but things could get worse in a hurry, as it’s Cliff Lee, one of the premiere pitchers in the majors, going against our Bobby Parnell, one of the league’s least accomplished. The two runs we have on the board were unearned.

While the Phils picked up Lee to flirt with another World Series, we’re trading Billy Wagner to flirt with disaster. But that’s ok, I guess, maybe we’ll get a guy in return who can help us down the road, and for less money, as that is increasingly going to be an issue. And besides, if it makes Papelbon unhappy to trade Billy to Boston, I’m all for it. What an idiot that guy is.

And, speaking of bad luck, we just hit into another irksome double play, Sullivan having been retired after trying to scramble back to first on a hard-hit liner to Utley at second base. I thought he was safe but the umpire called him out. (I absolutely promise that a future article will deal with the total incompetency of umpires this year, for balls and strikes and on the bases).

That’s all I have to say about the Mets. Let’s just pray the bad luck doesn’t spread to the Jets or Giants, or the Knicks and Nets either. (I don’t care about hockey). I do so want to enjoy my autumn (and perhaps winter for the Giants). But there have already been articles written about the demise of the much-ballyhooed Giants defensive line.

The Giants looked awful this weekend against the Bears. Not that anything about exhibition games should be taken seriously, but the team was curiously lifeless for the period of time that I could devote to an exhibition.

The Jets go tonight, of course, and Mark Sanchez will get another chance to impress. I sure hope he does because I’m not too anxious for another year of quarterback controversy. Let’s end the controversy right here,okay. Sanchez will be the QB, Clemens will be the backup. Makes sense, doesn’t it?

(And now it’s the Mets Takahashi, a 40-year old rookie, facing Ryan Howard, whose 2 dingers and 5 ribbies have paced the Phils). An omen perhaps? Howard struck out.