On Plax and Other Clunkers

Who needs a theme? Isn’t it better to just comment on the things that pop into your head, the things occupying the cerebral bits right now? I think so. It’s an intriguing format, especially at the convergence of seasons. I mean, right off the bat, I’m dying to say some more on Plaxico, on Ryan Church, Michael Vick, Brett Favre….maybe even clunker cars.

I can’t help myself, I feel bad for Plaxico. I just heard he accepted a 2-year jail sentence. I hope all you Giants fans remember who put him there. Bloomberg, nobody else. Burress gets two years for stupidity. Bloomberg gets not even a hand slap for obstructing justice, or dictating justice, just the way he’ll be dictating how your kids are educated.

Meanwhile, Plax goes to jail….as an example. Other perpetrators of the same crime don’t get these kinds of sentences. It doesn’t matter though to our “justice” system.

And Plaxico may never get out. With his attitude, he’ll be in solitary for the entire time. While I’m sure that there are people out there who’ll applaud the verdict, the same kind of people who get upset when somebody else is late for work, or who doesn’t always show up a half-hour early, the same kind of people who hate smokers and drinkers and anybody else who seems to be getting away with anything, the officious people who seem to be everywhere these days.

One thing more I’ll say is that Plaxico was a great wide receiver who did his job well. He caught the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. He accepted his good fortune with grace and humility. He was also a young and impressionable person who may have also been a bit paranoid of his own security. We know he took advantage of rules he thought were stupid.

Plax didn’t deserve to get two years.

In lighter matters, Ryan Church of course comes to mind because he was recently in a tiff about Jerry Manuel saying that David Wright and Church were two different cases. He seemed to think Jerry was insinuating that Wright tried hard all the time and was anxious to return while Church was just a taker, somebody who’d take your money for two years, play lousy baseball and even forget to touch the bases. I mean, what else could he have been thinking? If Jerry didn’t spell it out, Church certainly did.

Michael Vick is another poster boy for dumb, dumb, dumb, at least mostly dumb rather than cruel. I don’t suppose he ever thought about dogs as living beings, but his actions really only mimicked those of countless English (and other cultures) behaviors over many centuries. Sure, it was illegal, but it wasn’t enforced, was it? Until now. I have less sympathy for Vick than Burress but they’re both being used.

Michael Vick was the best college football player I ever saw. He was also a very good QB in the professional ranks, but he too, like Plax, was somebody who couldn’t really fully utilize his natural abilities in a “system”. Vince Young, Tarvaris Jackson, and yes, even Brett Favre also come immediately to mind as having similar situations, albeit not on the same scale. None of these I mention had the athletic ability of Michael Vick.

Anybody who’s ever read my column knows my feelings on Favre. He’s a taker too. He’ll take it all and drink it up. Painkillers, money, adulation, press conferences….pretty much everything but practice. He doesn’t take to that too well, rather like Allen Iverson really. Like others once hooked on painkillers, he’s equal parts narcissist and paranoid. Ask him if he ever dreamed he’s Jesus. My bet is his answer would be in the affirmative.

Favre stunk out the joint as a Jet. But there he was Sunday after Sunday ruining his team’s chances. He turned a playoff run into a road to perdition. He was outplayed by the man he replaced, Chad Pennington, who handled the reins for a less talented football team. But Chad was a leader, much as Eli had been a leader the year before.

But it’s a symbiotic relationship, this love-in of the Vikings and Favre. The Vikings are selling a lot more tickets. That’s their take. Favre gets an opportunity to fulfill one of his dreams, no doubt, to be the hero while he leads his new team over the Packers to take the Division Championship.

Can he do it? I don’t think so. Even with the best running game in the league and the best running back, Adrian Petersen, Favre will throw the big interception much as he’s done so many times before, as a younger man. But he gets to keep number 4. He already took that from the incumbent Viking inhabiting the jersey. And he’ll make one more tired old retirement speech. He’ll have one more tired old season.

Clunker cars? Yeah, I had two but it’s now down to one. I think everybody should take advantage of this program. Under a 2-party system that usually only rewards big corporations, doctors, lawyers, foreign governments and insurance companies, this is a freebie for you, one of the few freebies you’ll ever see. I got $3500 for my 1993 Jeep on a new Scion and could have gotten $4500 if I had bought a Yaris.

Don’t think for a moment that the U.S. government was trying to help you directly though. This was a measure to help the big automakers while we are just contingent beneficiaries. Until we learn to back independents, this will be our fate. And how many Obama’s do you suppose there are? Bush would have found another way, a more patrician-friendly way, something that would have reduced taxes (on the rich) while adding to the national debt.

And then there’s my Mets. The bloom is firmly off the rose after watching Bobby Parnell get blasted by the Braves. We can only hope it was an aberration; even Halladay had a bad day.