On Plax and Other Clunkers

Who needs a theme? Isn’t it better to just comment on the things that pop into your head, the things occupying the cerebral bits right now? I think so. It’s an intriguing format, especially at the convergence of seasons. I mean, right off the bat, I’m dying to say some more on Plaxico, on Ryan Church, Michael Vick, Brett Favre….maybe even clunker cars.

I can’t help myself, I feel bad for Plaxico. I just heard he accepted a 2-year jail sentence. I hope all you Giants fans remember who put him there. Bloomberg, nobody else. Burress gets two years for stupidity. Bloomberg gets not even a hand slap for obstructing justice, or dictating justice, just the way he’ll be dictating how your kids are educated.

Meanwhile, Plax goes to jail….as an example. Other perpetrators of the same crime don’t get these kinds of sentences. It doesn’t matter though to our “justice” system.

And Plaxico may never get out. With his attitude, he’ll be in solitary for the entire time. While I’m sure that there are people out there who’ll applaud the verdict, the same kind of people who get upset when somebody else is late for work, or who doesn’t always show up a half-hour early, the same kind of people who hate smokers and drinkers and anybody else who seems to be getting away with anything, the officious people who seem to be everywhere these days.

One thing more I’ll say is that Plaxico was a great wide receiver who did his job well. He caught the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. He accepted his good fortune with grace and humility. He was also a young and impressionable person who may have also been a bit paranoid of his own security. We know he took advantage of rules he thought were stupid.

Plax didn’t deserve to get two years.

In lighter matters, Ryan Church of course comes to mind because he was recently in a tiff about Jerry Manuel saying that David Wright and Church were two different cases. He seemed to think Jerry was insinuating that Wright tried hard all the time and was anxious to return while Church was just a taker, somebody who’d take your money for two years, play lousy baseball and even forget to touch the bases. I mean, what else could he have been thinking? If Jerry didn’t spell it out, Church certainly did.

Michael Vick is another poster boy for dumb, dumb, dumb, at least mostly dumb rather than cruel. I don’t suppose he ever thought about dogs as living beings, but his actions really only mimicked those of countless English (and other cultures) behaviors over many centuries. Sure, it was illegal, but it wasn’t enforced, was it? Until now. I have less sympathy for Vick than Burress but they’re both being used.

Michael Vick was the best college football player I ever saw. He was also a very good QB in the professional ranks, but he too, like Plax, was somebody who couldn’t really fully utilize his natural abilities in a “system”. Vince Young, Tarvaris Jackson, and yes, even Brett Favre also come immediately to mind as having similar situations, albeit not on the same scale. None of these I mention had the athletic ability of Michael Vick.

Anybody who’s ever read my column knows my feelings on Favre. He’s a taker too. He’ll take it all and drink it up. Painkillers, money, adulation, press conferences….pretty much everything but practice. He doesn’t take to that too well, rather like Allen Iverson really. Like others once hooked on painkillers, he’s equal parts narcissist and paranoid. Ask him if he ever dreamed he’s Jesus. My bet is his answer would be in the affirmative.

Favre stunk out the joint as a Jet. But there he was Sunday after Sunday ruining his team’s chances. He turned a playoff run into a road to perdition. He was outplayed by the man he replaced, Chad Pennington, who handled the reins for a less talented football team. But Chad was a leader, much as Eli had been a leader the year before.

But it’s a symbiotic relationship, this love-in of the Vikings and Favre. The Vikings are selling a lot more tickets. That’s their take. Favre gets an opportunity to fulfill one of his dreams, no doubt, to be the hero while he leads his new team over the Packers to take the Division Championship.

Can he do it? I don’t think so. Even with the best running game in the league and the best running back, Adrian Petersen, Favre will throw the big interception much as he’s done so many times before, as a younger man. But he gets to keep number 4. He already took that from the incumbent Viking inhabiting the jersey. And he’ll make one more tired old retirement speech. He’ll have one more tired old season.

Clunker cars? Yeah, I had two but it’s now down to one. I think everybody should take advantage of this program. Under a 2-party system that usually only rewards big corporations, doctors, lawyers, foreign governments and insurance companies, this is a freebie for you, one of the few freebies you’ll ever see. I got $3500 for my 1993 Jeep on a new Scion and could have gotten $4500 if I had bought a Yaris.

Don’t think for a moment that the U.S. government was trying to help you directly though. This was a measure to help the big automakers while we are just contingent beneficiaries. Until we learn to back independents, this will be our fate. And how many Obama’s do you suppose there are? Bush would have found another way, a more patrician-friendly way, something that would have reduced taxes (on the rich) while adding to the national debt.

And then there’s my Mets. The bloom is firmly off the rose after watching Bobby Parnell get blasted by the Braves. We can only hope it was an aberration; even Halladay had a bad day.

The Good and Bad of New York

The pitching just isn’t there. Although I’d like to keep kidding myself, the Mets can’t contend for anything with their pitching. Pelfrey isn’t consistent at all and he’s the number 2 on the staff. Perez is mostly bad. So there’s Santana and pray for rain.
When the minor leaguers they bring up do better than the regulars, you can really just mail it in.

Not that there aren’t some good things to say. I really like watching these guys, Francoeur, Reed, Pagan, Sullivan, Murphy, Niese, the future looks pretty bright but it’s the present that’s kind of shaky.

As far as the regulars coming back, it sounds like a bunch of doubletalk to me. Beltran probably just wants to get his at-bats up so his resume won’t have a big hole in it. As for Reyes and Delgado, at this point I’d rather watch Cora and Murphy. I just don’t believe these players are hurt as bad as they seem to think they are.

I couldn’t help but notice that, since Minaya’s unfortunate running at the mouth, some of the absentees have appeared in the dugout. Putz, Delgado, Reyes….it’s nice to see. Anyone would think that they give a damn.

When they do get a decent pitching performance, this team is fun to watch. Good fielding, good baserunning, good at-bats generally, but as I read somewhere today, they just can’t hit a sinkerball pitcher. Oh well.

Let me talk about some other things. The Mets are just too depressing. Thank God for Jerry Manuel. He makes things bearable.

There are some bright spots in New York sports. Take the Yankees…please. As much as I dislike them generally, Cashman at the very top of my list, you have to like the lion’s share of the players themselves.

Swisher climbing the walls, Teixeira lunging and coming up with ball, Jeter being Jeter, and Melky playing out of his mind. Hitting for the cycle the way he did yesterday was just amazing. To need a triple and then get it? Waddaya kiddin’ me? . Damon, Matsui, Gardner….in fact, I kinda like everybody whose name doesn’t end in a “rod”.

On the pitching side, CC’s always good for a smile or two and Burnett is a real pro, a tough guy you like to see out there. And Joba, how can you not like Joba? The fact that Pettite and Mitre haven’t really done anything just adds a bit to their humanity, if anything can.

And Hughes has been pretty awesome when not used too awfully much, which I think has been his problem lately. Mariano Rivera has been quite impressive, of course, and provides that close of things, even if he does have to provide four outs as he did yesterday. The rest of their relief staff you can have.

Football’s starting to come to the forefront of everyone’s mind and the Jets especially look to be a very exciting team, if not the best team in New York overall. Their new head coach, the very ample Ryan, to put it nicely, has them all chomping at the bit. Compared to Mangini’s death camp, it’s a very nice change of pace.

They’ll have defense up the ying-yang. Too bad the offense looks as if it will probably leave a bit to be desired. Whichever quarterback finally wins the starting nod, he’ll be relatively new at the job and it’s really hard to like a new NFL quarterback too much. But thank God Favre’s doing his press conferences somewhere else.

Why they continue to give their best players such a hard time at the contract table is beyond me though. Give Leon Washington his due, Tannenbaum, and while you’re at it, give him some money too. I can’t believe they punish their best “team” players the way they do, using their team feeling as leverage at the contract table, a pretty despicable negotiating strategy if you ask me. And stupid in the long run.

The Giants are the real pros in town. This should be a great year if injuries don’t cripple them. Of course, they have to get over the loss of Plax and Toomer, something that won’t be too easily done. But drafting Hakeem Nicks, and then signing him relatively quickly, was a step in the right direction.

On defense, the significance of getting Umenyiora back can’t be overplayed really. The pass rush and the defense against the run should be alive and well. They’ll have Eli back and Jacobs, of course, and a great offensive line. They’ll also have good backups at just about every position.

The indictment of Plaxico today won’t help matters but it was nice to see the grand jury go easy on Antonio Pierce. It’ll be life as usual for the G-Men from here on in. Despite Antonio’s age and lack of speed, he’s been a great leader for the Giants defense and a great spokesman too.

While I’m saddened by Burress’s situation, I guess he couldn’t expect much better treatment and it appears he’ll be out of football for quite some time. But a quick look back at his Super Bowl performance against the undefeated Patriots less than two years ago should make any Giants fan feel a bit in the dumps.

What a waste! You can blame Plax, I’ll hate that sorry excuse for a mayor, Bloomberg, using his power as Mayor to undermine the legal system. New York should rid themselves of him.

He’d be a better candidate for New Jersey politics as he’s no better than the 22 or so politicians hopefully jail-bound this year. And no less heavy-handed than Hoboken’s sorry excuse for a mayor, the guy who promised to grind up anybody not in his constituency.

Gee, I guess I really am a Giants fan.

Cuffed Hands, Hired Hands, All Hands on Deck!

If there’s anything I care less about than Rutgers football, it would have to be a Thursday night NFL matchup between the Oakland Raiders and anyone. If the powers that be were doing their best to try to turn football fans away, they couldn’t possibly pick worse games to televise.

I mean, gimme a break. Even before the season, somebody should have figured out that the Raiders couldn’t match up with any NFL team, never mind one that, by rights, should have been contending for the AFC Championship.

Oh well, at least it wasn’t an all-night discussion about Plaxico. Or who may have driven him home, or to the hospital, or concealed information from the police. At least I didn’t have to see any more of the biggest Fascist of them all, the too honorable Mayor Bloomberg, chip in with his two cents.

What’s scary to me is that incredibly rich and powerful people can say anything they want and get away with it. That the Mayor of New York can pretty much call the shots, and let any judge within the confines of his city know that the Mayor won’t settle for anything less than a conviction, that he won’t stand for anything less than the maximum sentence.

To me, that’s a much worse offense than shooting yourself in the leg accidentally. Plax’s offense is something that only happens to stupid people. It’s pretty much confined to those brazen enough, or insecure enough, to carry loaded guns around. What the mayor’s doing could be perpetrated on anyone.

He’s tried the case in his mind and he knows what the outcome had better be. He dictated the ending. Hell, not just the ending but pretty much the process too. I’m sure Plax’s life will be hell for a long, long, time and only the lawyers will be the happier for it.

At this point, I’d rather they throw the Mayor’s butt in jail. The charge could be obstruction of justice, or bribing an official of the city government. To me, New York deserves a classier mayor than this small-time Hitler. This is the same guy who had no problem with the sweet stadium deals both the Mets and Yankees perpetrated on the City.

Not that I care that much about Plaxico personally. He could have shot somebody, especially carrying heat in a crowded environment. But I don’t know the facts, really, nor does anyone, not really. That’s what trials are for.

Okay, enough about Benito Bloomberg. I’m glad I don’t live in his city. We have our own problems here in New Jersey, and not the least is Governor Corzine and his band of crooked legislators, corporate lenders, tax leviers and toll increasers.

I really did mean to write about sports today….. honest. I’ll be getting to it soon, I’m sure, but my little diatribe certainly has made me feel a little better, almost as good as that nice warm feeling I got from the news that O.J. Simpson would finally be spending some time in the slammer.

The Giants will be playing the Eagles again. It seems as if they play them every other week. With just 16 total games on the regular season schedule, it seems a little ridiculous to me that we have to play division opponents twice each. This division just isn’t that exciting…. the Redskins, the Eagles and, thank God, the Cowboys.

Even though it’s totally absurd that a Dallas team could finagle its way into the NFC East, and it’s a tribute to the corruption in the NFL, I thank my lucky stars that they’re a good team, and an interesting one too. The Eagles and Redskins just aren’t. Sure…they’ll win their share of games but it will be boring. Clinton Portis and a cloud of dust for the Skins; for the Eagles, Number 5 and DeSean Jackson and…..well, really nobody else.

At any rate, I expect the Giants will rise above all the stupidity this week and put a beating on the Eagles. If they’re still able to get their practices in, they should win the game. These are high-character guys, guys who bring their game each week, or try anyway.

The same, alas, cannot be said for the Jets. The Jets hired hands travel to San Francisco to play the suddenly Singletary-enlivened 49ers. The Jets don’t travel well, at least not to the West Coast. They managed to lose to the same team, Oakland, that got pummeled by the Chargers last night.

The hired hands have agreed, it seems, to play hard this time out, after their pitiful performance against the Broncos last week. Kris Jenkins, at least, has acknowledged maybe a lack of intensity in that loss that probably contributed a great deal to their failure to stop the Broncos running game.

Favre seemed to acknowledge the same thing, albeit in many more words. Hopefully, he’ll save some of those words for the Jets huddle this week. The 49ers are certainly beatable. But the Jets will have to stop the run, something they’re pretty good at doing ordinarily. They’re not so good against the pass, but the Niners don’t bring that much to that phase of their game.

My attention will be focused on the Cowboys-Steelers game. That one should be a real struggle, not really a Dallas “must” win, but close enough, given the rest of their schedule. It’ll be the tough Cowboys offensive line against the relentless Steelers defense, and conversely, a more determined Cowboys defense against a Steelers offense that hasn’t really knocked anyone’s socks off all year, discounting their man-handling of the Pats last week in New England.

The Steelers have lost three times, and once each to the NFC East G-Men and the Eagles. It’d be nice to make it an NFC East clean sweep. Whatever happens in this one, it’ll be a war. Demarcus Ware and Marion Barber are hurt, but it’ll be all hands on deck!