So You Want Crazy?

So many sports going on and almost no focus this Election Day. How can sports compare with today's Obama-McCain duel? Even with Obama seemingly firmly in control, one must only think back to Bush's surprise win, and his steal of Florida, to keep tonight's interest solidly on election results.

Not that there's nothing happening, especially on the New York sports scene. The Mets picked up Delgado's option, thank God, and are, by all accounts, avidly seeking Brian Fuentes, if not Francisco Rodriguez, to shore up their bullpen. Shore up may not really be the right term; an entire replacement might certainly be in order.

Then, of course, there are the NY Football Giants, yes, your favorite team (probably) and mine, the GEEEE-Men. Even after a decisive win over the Steelers, and then the Romo-less Cowboys, who looked pathetic on Sunday, all the news is about the misbehaving Plaxico Burress, whose production has been down and who has (gasp!) missed meetings and practices (as Iverson says "It's just practice, man").

And speaking of Iverson, you'll notice that the Pistons traded for Iverson, not Stephon Marbury, to replace Chauncey Billups in their backcourt. And a certain N.Y. Times sportswriter says the Knicks have to do something with Marbury. It's apparently more than his sensitivity can bear to see him sitting on the end of the bench, in shorts or in a snazzy 3-piece suit.

Life is crazy. It's always been crazy and seldom is it really fair. It's crazy that one of the Super Bowl heroes should get a nice contract extension and raise, and then seemingly lose all perspective, despite his teammates' pulling for him. But Burress will always be Burress, much as Manny has always been Manny. It can be painful to live with him, but it sure is nice to have him double-covered all the time.

It's crazy that one of the best Knicks guards should occupy the bench when lesser players run around not doing very much. But people make their own beds and Steph is on record as not willing to accept one penny less than the 21 million he has coming to him. And Knicks coach Mike D'Antoni is on record as wanting to play an up-tempo game with good defenders, hardly a Marbury forte.

You want crazy? How about the Browns benching their quarterback Derek Anderson for 2nd-year man Brady Quinn? Anderson's leading receiver, Braylon Edwards, drops more balls than he catches. His All-Star tight end is more concerned with staph infections, and their origins, than with playing. His defense can't stop the run (except, inexplicably, against the Giants) and two of his other potential receivers, Donte Stallworth and Joe Jurevicius, have been hurt. Not only that, but it's a short week, and the Browns need to play Denver on Thursday night. And a loss might kill this year's playoff chances for the Brownies. That's really crazy.

It’s crazy that the Pistons should trade possibly the single biggest reason for their success these last five years or so, point guard Chauncey Billups. Iverson certainly won’t take them over the top. I guess Iverson’s expiring 21 mill contract was a consideration, a huge one, but it certainly isn’t fair to Billups, or the rest of his teammates for that matter.

Of course, all this craziness pales in comparison to other more important considerations in our lives. Take the war in Iraq, for example. A pointless and unwinnable war, it killed and maimed our youth, drained our financial resources, weakened the dollar, and went a long way towards totally destroying our world image.

You want crazy? How about lending billions and billions of dollars to people who couldn’t possibly handle that kind of debt? And then bailing out these criminally-inept companies with our hard-earned money. And doing so without really consulting the populace; after all, we’re too stupid to understand the reasons and the consequences.

You want crazy? One of the questions on my ballot is whether we should take further action to make sure our legislators have to consult the public on any of their fantasy projects, not just some of them. The crooked politicians in New Jersey find a way around everything.

Crazy? How about paying huge site license fees for the right to purchase a seat to a Giants or Jets game? How about the folly of building a new stadium at all? None of these stadiums were really needed, not the Giants/Jets new un-named stadium, not the new Yankee Stadium, not the new Mets home(although it was time for Shea to bite the dust), and not the new arena in Newark that the Devils call home.

Crazy? How about a new stadium for the Rutgers football team? Don’t we have better things on which to spend our money? That this team plays totally forgettable football is not really the point. Who really asked for a new stadium?

Oh, and who can forget the Dallas Cowboys? Jerry Jones is getting a new stadium too, maybe the biggest of them all. Did he really need to take on a guy named Pac-Man? How was that helpful, except to make Terrell Owens look like Mr. Rogers in comparison? Backup quarterbacks? Not for Jerry. Surely, Brad Johnson and that other guy would be able to hold the fort.

Ah hell, I don’t care. Let Marbury stew on the end of the bench. Maybe he can chew on his money, or his contract, while he’s sitting there. Maybe he can contemplate the wisdom of getting himself an agent. I know he’ll enjoy watching Larry Brown come to town on Wednesday.

Play or sit Burress, I don’t care. Personally, I think the Giants would have a lot more trouble winning without him. It’s those long arms, and the speed, and the sticky fingers on those hands, and his teammates really do seem to like him. Is he an idiot? Probably, but I think he’s no crazier than Coughlin in the final analysis.

Yeah, life, it’s as crazy as the choices we have today.